Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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