tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I want a musical about memes.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
