He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
