You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
The cops high fived after they tackled you
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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