Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
