Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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