You're so nebulous sometimes
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize
