conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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