Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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