My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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