that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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