you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
bring money and cleavage
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
