i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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