Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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