We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
