Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
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