I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
