He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
