I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize