There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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