Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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