Tell her she can't have a vagina
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
His hands were made for my vagina.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
