I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Randomize
