I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
