Taylor Swift is so right about you.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
