The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed