dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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