Texts From Last Night

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  (626): View more from California

  i need an iv and a liver transplant

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  (626): i need an iv and a liver transplant http://tfl.nu/lbut
  Replies (4) Good night (2582) Bad night (966)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.

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  (973): Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer. http://tfl.nu/dm7j
  Replies (21) Good night (663) Bad night (3024)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye

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  (301): guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye http://tfl.nu/qvf8
  Replies (34) Good night (643) Bad night (4291)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  did u really fuck my little sister???

  (706): View more from Georgia

  im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"

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  (678): did u really fuck my little sister??? (706): im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess" http://tfl.nu/dz4c
  Replies (155) Good night (16016) Bad night (2075)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.

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  (505): i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to. http://tfl.nu/elff
  Replies (3) Good night (2686) Bad night (1004)
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  (212): View more from New York

  He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.

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  (212): He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend. http://tfl.nu/rr39
  Replies (9) Good night (1127) Bad night (2170)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.

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  (303): He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts. http://tfl.nu/jof7
  Replies (8) Good night (1171) Bad night (1895)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.

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  (330): White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux. http://tfl.nu/a54h
  Replies (5) Good night (2003) Bad night (748)
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  (760): View more from California

  Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes

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  (760): Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes http://tfl.nu/0u4w
  Replies (10) Good night (1506) Bad night (895)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.

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  (773): He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof. http://tfl.nu/nzip
  Replies (5) Good night (1368) Bad night (534)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.

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  (908): Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea. http://tfl.nu/8iqm
  Replies (2) Good night (745) Bad night (1047)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.

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  (480): She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress. http://tfl.nu/19rj
  Replies (4) Good night (687) Bad night (1387)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.

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  (732): I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened. http://tfl.nu/b4bs
  Replies (2) Good night (485) Bad night (370)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful

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  (773): He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful http://tfl.nu/kcp3
  Replies (0) Good night (441) Bad night (356)
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  (805): View more from California

  Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.

  (805): View more from California

  My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.

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  (805): Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something. (805): My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket. http://tfl.nu/4z93
  Replies (5) Good night (365) Bad night (679)

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