my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
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How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
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I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?