I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
