You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance