ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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