Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
