As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Still dying that you shit outside
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
