he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
