my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I believe in your delicious
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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