can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
