i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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