my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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