I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
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I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
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im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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