just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
