I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
