How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
In America we eat man semen.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
