I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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