I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
