420 ftw
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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