"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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