found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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