The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
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How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
MIDGETS
????
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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