The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
then he tried to convert me to islam
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I want to be your penis for a week.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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