More tranny stories later!
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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