as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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