hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
