we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
