I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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