last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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