oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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