At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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