My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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