you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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