I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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