We're like a lot better than the average bears
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
