I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
