its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Randomize
