Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
