I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
