Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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