Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
