Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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